Rough sex is fun. You wouldn’t be on a rough sex dating site if you didn’t likely share such a sentiment. But not everyone enjoys nor prefers rough sex, or what some call “aggressive sex.” And furthermore, even in the rough sex realm, sexual variations exist.
Before you engage in rough sex with a partner, it’s important to understand what sexual variations they prefer. It’s also imperative to gain full consent over your actions.
So how do we communicate our rough sex desires?
For many couples, rough sex evolves over time. Light hair pulling turns into harsh yanking. Exploratory slaps to her ass cheeks turn into full-on spanking sessions.
The truth is, for some couples, this works. But it’s risky business. It’s easy for lines of communication to fry. You don’t want that to happen. A break down in communication over a coffee order is one thing, but when it’s over rough sex, things can turn out poorly for both of you.
Here are some tips to help improve rough sex communications.
Deploy Rough Sex Erotic Talk
Communicating sexual desires can be oddly uncomfortable. It’s weird to think that we can have sex with a girl, yet can’t talk about that sex during downtime. But that’s how most couples operate and it’s a leading reason why so many couples aren’t on the same sexual page. Many couples find talking about sexual needs during non-arousal times bizarre and awkward.
One thing that can help is to become more chatty during sex. When the fire is roaring, deploy some erotic talk.
If you want to spank her, rather than giving her exploratory spanks, ask her if she needs to be spanked?
Rather than just yanking her by her hair, tell her you “want to pull” her “hair” and “control her.”
In this way, you’re communicating your rough sex desires but in a less uncomfortable way.
Erotic talk during sex can not only help both of you operate on consensual terms, but it also helps ignite more sexual flames. Its a turn-on, in other words. It brings you closer with your partner. When you understand your partner’s sexual needs, you take your entire relationship to the next level.
Consider Your Partner’s Needs and Wants
Make your partner’s sexual needs and desires your priority. This will not only improve your sex life in general, but it tends to help open her up to your needs. You’re greasing the groove, as they say.
I’m not talking about just her rough sex needs. I’m talking about all of her needs. Ask her what she likes, do more of what you know she likes. This helps build her trust that you aren’t a one-way street. No girl wants to play rough sex with a selfish guy that’s just looking to get his jollies off. If all your rough sex sessions end with you cumming on her face yet you do nothing for her, your rough sex relationship will likely be short-lived.
When you realize things your partner likes or enjoys, do those things more. If you aren’t sure, ask her what she enjoys. You can do it during the sexy time so that it’s more erotic.
The more your partner understands your desire to please her, the more open she’ll be to your needs. It’s as simple as that.
Expect The Unexpected
When she understands your rough sex needs, she may throw you a curveball. She may be more into rough sex than you are. If you’re rough sex desire is limited to aggression towards her, don’t be surprised when she wants to slap you around.
If you are icy torwards such a reply, you might ruin it. Remember, you want consent, and you want to make sure both of you are happy. Don’t just expect her to say “yes” to all your needs and have none of her own. And if she doesn’t express any needs of her own, she might be concealing them. In the long run, her holding back her true sexual needs will serve to undermine the strength of the relationship.
Always get consent for rough sex. Exploratory rough sex without consent can end badly. Communication is key. If communication is uncomfortable, try adding in some erotic talk while having sex.